Final Fantasy VII
When making a website don’t think of the user:
Make everything small, find a way to confuse him.
Bright colors in eyes, so he may get blind,
Thousands of links, so he cannot find
Most useful of buttons (let’s say it’s “Login”),
Add billions of prompts to make user think.
Never forget to spice up some captcha,
So he will be angry and coming to get ya.
He’ll come to your office and spit in your face,
While yelling no other but “Incinerate!”
If he really does it – don’t be afraid:
A super-strong bat will come to your aid!
Lay it on table (while stroking it gently),
Call for some thugs (they WILL make an entry)…
I guess you should know what will come next,
So let’s take a skip to the following text:
“I’m writing this e-mail to let you guys know,
I can’t send a penny to anyone home.
I press on a button, my money withdrawn,
But nothing is sent: I think it’s a con!”
Don’t dare to panic when reading these lines:
Calm yourself down, drink up some wine.
Go rest for a bit: a day or a week –
Reading those lines made you so sick…
When you’re up and about – get straight to your feet!
Prepare an answer (it will be a feat!):
“Oh, dear, my sir! How can it dare be?
I never have seen such a sorrowful plea!
We’re sorry for such unconventional flit,
But this is a feature, so do live with it.”
Look at the letters, feel yourself smile,
Press the “Send” button – you are sublime!
You’ve done your work the best that you could,
You always were so misunderstood,
But now that you’re here, you’re feeling so fine:
Legs on the table – you are divine!